Mauvelli | Nigerian Women On Engagement Rings And The Pressure They Bri
Fashion

What They Think: Do Engagement Rings Put Pressure On Women To Wear Them Or Not?

February 13, 2021 | by Iyin | 0 Comments

For many, engagement rings are a symbol of love and a lifelong commitment to another, but for others, they are an unnecessary piece of jewellery. Every woman has her preference and what might be important to one might not be important to another, especially when it has to do with marriage 

We asked 6 engaged or married Nigerian women what they think of engagement rings, if they are necessary, and if they put undue pressure on women to wear them Here's what they shared with us;

1. Yes, They Do. Not Significantly Though.

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

I think it's a great culture passed down. Do I like them? Well, yea. Sure not crazy about them. I also think it would be nice though if both parties wore rings. Hehee.

That's so true, I'll like to see men rocking theirs too. So, do you think they are necessary or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?

Well, it depends on personal preferences, especially as mutually agreed between the couple. Not just one person's preference. If it so happens that you're both the kind that have no desire or interest in that part of the entire festivities, then do away with it and proceed with what matters to you.

For me, it's nice. It makes for great memories and it's yet another beautiful moment to celebrate a new milestone in the love you both share, with friends/family, or alone. So why not? 😉

Yeah, that's so right. After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?

"Yes, it did, not significantly though. I recall forgetting to wear the engagement ring to a visit to his Uncle's place and his Aunt asked why I didn't wear it and some other funny questions, lol." - Chidinma Mbonu.

Even at work, if I haven't worn it for a few days or weeks, I get a question or two from close colleagues. I didn't internalize any of the pressure that came from those questions though. I couldn't be bothered frankly. I just smiled or laughed through them.

I wear the ring when I remember it. Lol. But I really do try to wear it often, rather, I try to remember to wear it often but you know how tricky memories can be at times. 😉

Read Also: What They Think: How Far Is Too Far With Body Piercings?

​​​​​​2. The Ring Itself Does Not Put As Much Pressure On You As The Person That Bought It For You Or Other People Do

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

Yes, I like engagement rings. I think they help bring the relationship to a definitive point where you know, at this point, you can start making plans for getting married and talking about what kind of wedding and marriage you want. At this point, you can start planning for your finances and things that will happen before, during, and after the wedding. 

Very true. Do you think they are necessary or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?

Having an engagement ring makes it defined and structured and it signifies progress. Some people think that when dating started the intention was always to get married, but several relationships start that way but end in breakups.

So, I think that coming into the relationship with an intention of marriage should not stop people from getting an engagement ring. Not everyone likes engagement rings and if you can't afford an engagement ring then it's fine, I don't think it's a dealbreaker.

But if it can be done then it should be done. Many people go ahead with getting married without a formal engagement and that is fine too.

Yeah... After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?

Let's be honest. Personally, I want to freestyle with my engagement ring, I want to wear it when I want to and to places I want to wear it to. But the truth is, that is not always the case because someone bought it for you and then it now happens that everybody is looking for your left hand to check if the ring is there. 

If you don't wear it, they go, "Why didn't you wear it?", "What happened?", "Are you shy", "Did you just get it to put in your cupboard?"

"The ring itself does not put as much pressure on you as the person that bought it for you and the people surrounding the whole proposal planning." - Anonymous.

I just want to wear it when I want to and to places I want to wear it to. I don't believe it is the ring that makes me engaged. I feel like I am still engaged with or without it and I don't welcome unnecessary attention from guys. 

3. I Didn't Feel Pressure, I Was Proud to Wear It. 

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

Lol. I really like rings. So it was really about the beauty for me.

The beauty is it for me too! Lol. Do you think they are necessary, though or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?
I think it depends on your preference. For me, it was necessary o, cause I felt they were beautiful and symbolized something.

Awww. After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?
After I received it, I very happily and joyfully wore it. I don’t even go anywhere without my rings now.

"I didn’t feel pressure. I was proud to wear it." - Damilola Aderemi.

4. It Put Plenty Of Pressure On Me

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

I was really happy when my husband proposed to me but I had mixed feelings on whether I was expected to wear the ring or not. Also, I was nervous about how I'll break the news to my friends because they will ask questions when they see me wearing it. 

Hehe. Do you think they are necessary or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?

I don't think they are that important. I mean, what if the guy does not have the money for a ring or money to buy the quality of ring he wants to? What happens then?

I was really happy about my engagement but worried about how I'll tell my family and if I have to wear it all the time. Both my sisters that got married didn't get any rings but they got married and left the house. 

Both people that want to get married can just let their parents know and move on with plans. I know people that have been engaged with a ring for 10 years and they are still engaged till now without marriage. They now 'lord of the rings'. Lol.

Giving rings are dependent on what the girl wants and what her family wants. Some families require that a ring must be given and the girl also feel like she needs it to show her engagement. It depends on him, her and the girl's family.

Hmmm... After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?

For a guy to propose, he and she must have talked about marriage before. I wasn't surprised that my husband proposed but I was surprised about the date. It depends on what she wants. It's the society that placed importance on rings, they are not really needed. 

"Receiving an engagement ring put plenty of pressure on me, to be honest. It kept me wondering about when I wear it to church or the office and people start asking questions and all of that." - Grace Ajayi.

I took my time, it wasn't immediately I received it that I started wearing it. I wore it a few times to work and no one noticed, then after a month I started wearing it regularly and people started noticing. In church also, people started putting pressure on me. 

As a Christian, you have to let your pastor know you are engaged and show your fiance to him before you start wearing a ring up and down so it put pressure on me. I mainly freestyled with my ring. After a while though, I got used to it. 

5. No Pressure!

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

I like engagement rings, although, to me, it’s just a fashionable thing or way of just letting the public know ‘I’m taken’.

Exactly! Lol. Do you think they are necessary or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?

I feel it’s very subjective. I am not a fan of proposals. They are not necessary because some discussions have been made on when we will like to get married (like a timeline) and all of that. The proposal part is just official.

The way a man will ask you to marry him officially even after those talks is based on how he fancies things or hints the lady has given. Some men might want it very private, or he wants to blow her mind. That’s what determines that glam of proposal.

Yeah... Proposals sha 😍. Lol. After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?

"No pressure! Somedays I forget to wear it, even my wedding ring.😂" - Deborah Oladipupo.

6. There Was No Pressure. I Wore It Because It Made Him Happy

What do you think about engagement rings? Do you like them?

I've never been a ring person. The thing is, I like rings, but I've never been the wearing ring type. I never really saw myself as the person that would wear wedding rings or anything. 

I liked the idea of engagement rings but it was not really a dealbreaker for me. 

Oh? Interesting. Do you think they are necessary or is it okay for you guys to just discuss it and know you are heading to the altar?

I won't say it was particularly necessary because even before we got engaged, we had already spoken about it and we knew we were heading to the altar. Every couple should know each other's expectations and match the person's expectations. 

If you're a guy and you are not necessarily the proposing type, you know the 'going down on one knee type', but you know that is what gets your partner, you should be able to do that just to make her happy.

The same goes for the lady too. If your guy is not the type that likes to be all shouty and all, if he proposes to you privately, it should not make you feel somehow. You should be confident and content in his love. 

Awww... That's so sweet 😍 and true. After you received your engagement ring, did it put pressure on you to wear it? Or did you just freestyle with it?

Like I said earlier, I was never the time wearing type. Like, I can wear one ring now and the interval between then and when I wear it again can be like 6 months. 

When he proposed, it's just like this is the ring that the man I love gave to me. I wore it more because it was comfortable or anything, I just wore it because I liked it. Sometimes I forget. Lol. 

"I noticed that whenever I wore it and he saw it it made him happy. So, I started wearing it to make him happy and him being happy made me happy so it didn't put pressure in any way." - Gift Avong.

Sometimes it even worked in my favour because some annoying guys will see me and I'll be like, "I'm married." In my mind I know I'm not but how would they know? So, it didn't put pressure.

There are times I forget to wear it for like a week but I wear it most times. I do it because I love him. I wear it because he is the one that gave me the ring, I love him, and it makes him happy and makes me happy. 

All in all, engagement rings are a beauty to behold, but as most of our ladies have said, they are not a necessity. As for the pressure, most of the time, it's the people around that put pressure on a person to wear the ring and not necessarily the man. 

We love engagement rings and we are all here for it. Do let us know what to think about engagement rings putting pressure on women in the comments section below. 
 

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